Blog

Kindness and Firmness at the Same Time

Rudolf Dreikurs taught the importance of being both kind and firm in our relations with children. Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. Permissive methods lack firmness. Kindness and firmness are essential for Positive Discipline.

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The Positive Discipline Books

I received an email from a person who wondered about the differences between the many Positive Discipline books. My guess is that many people have the same question so I created this very brief thumbnail description.

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Mutual Respect in the Classroom

An excerpt from Positive Discipline by Dr. Jane Nelsen

Mutual respect incorporates attitudes of: (1) faith in the abilities of yourself and others; (2) interest in the point of view of others as well as your own; and (3) willingness to take responsibility and ownership for your own contribution to the problem. The best way to teach these attitudes to children is by modeling them. You will see how the concepts of timing and winning cooperation can be merged with the concept of mutual respect.

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HOW IS POSITIVE DISCIPLINE DIFFERENT?

The majority of discipline models practiced in homes and schools today are based on punishments and rewards. Positive Discipline is based on the Adlerian model of eliminating all punishment and rewards in favor of encouragement that addresses the basic needs of children to belong and feel significant. Our task is to help children find belonging and significance in socially useful ways.

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Empowering Vs. Enabling

We have become vividly aware of how skilled most of us are in using enabling responses with our children, and how unskilled we are in using empowering responses. Our definition of enabling is, ʺGetting between young people and life experiences to minimize the consequences of their choices.ʺ

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Positive Discipline Success Story - "I Need Your Help"

So, my 2 year old (25.5 months old) has been giving me such a rough time with diaper changes.  She has always been wiggly, even as a baby, and we do cloth diapers so it takes that much longer to get them on her... Lately it has been awful, where she ends up running around naked for 30 min or more after bath time because I just canNOT capture her long enough to get her diaper and/or jammies on.  (And we have tried potty training, but she is just not ready.)

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Class Meetings

Class meetings invite students to learn by doing. They provide the practice arena for all of the skills necessary to grow citizens who are responsible, respectful and resourceful members of the community.

The Positive Discipline vision is about schools where children never experience humiliation when they fail but instead feel empowered by the opportunity to learn from their mistakes in a safe environment. Many of the social and emotional skills students learn are represented in the Significant Seven Perceptions and Skills.

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Take Time for Training

Many people are having fun applying the principles from the Positive Discipline Tool Cards. When they share their great examples, I ask for their permission to share with others. Following you will find some helpful and encouraging examples from Katie Clark.

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Take Time for Training: A 3-Step Process

When I was an elementary school counselor and first tried to get students involved in class meetings, we were not successful. I thought the students just weren't ready; but it was me who wasn't ready. I didn't have a step-by-step plan for teaching the skills for class meetings, and I didn't understand that it would take time for the kids to practice and learn them. I needed to take time for training for myself first before I could help the students.

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Toddlers and the Hitting Stage

Question: Hi, I attended your session at the Adlerian Conference in Myrtle Beach. It was really great! I now have a 14-month-old son and recently bought your book Positive Discipline, The First Three Years as he began to really start to show his little personality and I realized wow, I need help! I finished it tonight but still have a question and really wanted your opinion about the issue of hitting. Our son, is a very happy toddler but lately when he gets angry he will hit me and my husband in the face.

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Online Learning

Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. You have unlimited access to our online streaming programs, so you can watch and re-watch the videos as often as you like.

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